My 3 year old granddaughter takes on many roles throughout the day. She arrives at our house in the morning most days clothed in a princess dress of some kind. She may start out the day as Elsa from the movie Frozen. Within the next hour she may take off that dress and put on her Ghost Spider cape. In the next hour she has butterfly wings or bee wings on. During the day she becomes many different things. If I call her by name, she will say "I'm Ghost Spider" or "I'm Elsa". Often while in her different roles she will come up to me and ask "What's your name?" If I say "Pawpaw", she says "no you're not, you're Anna" or "you're Cat Boy" as she wants me to role play with her. I have recently been Cat Boy (PJ Masks show) , Mecha Cookie (Mecha Builders show) and the villain Romeo or Night Ninja (PJ Masks). When I am handed the role of a villain she will say "I want you to be mean!" so I play the part while she saves the world.
As my granddaughter plays many roles through the day, it makes me think of the different roles we all play in life. When we are born we become a son or daughter, a grand child and possibly a niece or nephew. In those various roles, we mean different things to different people and have a variety of relationships based on those roles. Of course, when I was born, the common thing with my various new roles was that everyone said "He's the cutest baby I have ever seen!".
As we continue through life we continue to assume new roles. We become siblings, students, team players, friends, etc. Each new title we get brings on new responsibilities and individual parts to play in those roles. As we continue on in life we become employees and coworkers. We may take on roles of spouses and parents, aunts or uncles and maybe grandparents. We may become teachers and mentors. We become neighbors.
Some roles change over the years. As you move into new roles, some old roles may disappear forever. I once was a grandson and son. Once my grandparents and parents passed away, I no longer actively served in those roles. I used to be an employee/manager/coworker but gave those roles up upon retirement.
Some people in this world take on the role of the villain and become thieves, murderers and other criminals. Some just shirk their responsibility of their roles and become absent parents or terrible employees. These people have an entirely different viewpoints than I on the responsibilities given for each of these roles.
I currently have many names that include the following: brother, uncle, father, grandfather, husband, neighbor, friend, club member, and many others I can't name at the moment. When I look at all the roles I have played, the greatest has been husband, father and grandfather. The names of dad and pawpaw are my favorites. I read an article in the latest edition of the AARP magazine about Tyler Perry. He has had great success in his career and is a self made billionaire. At the end of the article he was asked "Who is Tyler Perry today?". He replied "I'm Maxine's baby. I am defined by everything she put in me. She was the kind of woman who tolerated or accepted nothing but your best. And I'm Aman's father. All of this other stuff is really great. But the thing that gives me motivation every day is being Aman's father." Well said Tyler, well said!
What is your name? What roles do you currently play? In retirement we move from employee/coworker into the role of retiree. At that point you may take on new roles of mentor, teacher, volunteer, part time employee, hobbyist or something else. What roles did you embrace after taking on the retiree role? Are you performing well in each of your given or chosen roles? Or, is there room for improvement in your roles? What is your favorite role, past or present?
Wow, Mitch, this is some post and most profound questions. I remember an Oprah moment. She said when someone asks you in that tone - Who do you think you are? our challenge is to stand up tall and say who we are. I've challenged myself with saying who I am in one sentence - a person on this earth trying to get by. I've had many roles. The most challenging one is being true to myself although I'm getting closer to that true self in my retirement years without the obligatory constraints of so many other roles. I worked as a nurse for 34 yrs but found that label to be restricted by people's connotation of that role. A colleague once described me as an educator & that resonated with me. Of late, I've been described as a truth sayer. I strive to live a purposeful life and do better each day.
ReplyDeleteI love your last sentence of "I strive to live a purposeful life and do better each day". That would fit any role we play in life.
DeleteI love your granddaughter! What fun for you to enter her world of play every day.
ReplyDeleteI listen to a podcast where the interviewer always begins by asking the guest, Who are you? Its interesting to hear how each one replies and some answers are quite profound. We are all first defined by our relationships, our jobs, our titles, but some answers are much more profound and involve actual accomplishments. Who are you? is a much more interesting question than the How are you? we ask of someone when we first meet. Maybe we should try it out!
That granddaughter is a good source of post material! If we ask "Who are you?" when meeting someone, it could drive a pretty deep conversation.
DeleteYour granddaughter sounds absolutely delightful. You're right about the roles we have. My life has certainly changed since moving back to Hawaii where I came to take care of my mother. It's been 15 years from me being a daughter and now I'm feeling like a parent taking care of my 93 year old mother who is utterly dependent on me and my husband. It's not an easy role to take on, but one I feel I must because of all she has done for me and my brother. Meanwhile, it's weird because sometimes my daughter talks to me like she is my mother and I have to remind her... not yet please.
ReplyDeleteThe role of caregiver can be a tough one. That is a role that can be full of stress but also full of rewards.
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