All through life we are looking for acceptance and recognition from family, friends and even strangers. As children, we crave our parents attention and approval. In school, we want to impress our teachers and friends. Getting a ribbon or certificate in grade school affirmed that you had been successful at something. Whether that be perfect attendance, reading the most books, best grades, etc. This reward system continues into high school and college in the form of more ribbons, medals, trophies and certificates. In sports you get beautiful shiny medals and trophies. Most awards, other than Olympic medals, are only worth a few dollars at most. I remember getting certificates in grade school for many things including grades and reading books. In high school, I received several academic medals and a few ribbons for showing a calf in FFA (Future Farmers of America)(Yeah, it was a small country school!). I didn't get any trophies for sports but had one small trophy for being Valedictorian of my high school class. Both my kids got numerous trophies from soccer, baseball, golf and school activities.
I believe that within most of us there is always that desire to be recognized. A few years ago I bought a Ford Mustang for my 50th birthday. It was a blast! I began taking it to a few car shows and won several 1st and 2nd place trophies. It was fun to be announced as a winner and walk up in front of others to get my well deserved trophy. I felt like a little kid again and also felt a little silly getting excited about my $2 fake gold plated plastic trophy. I eventually traded the car for my current truck and the trophies were donated to charity to be sold for 25 cents or to be thrown away. I have several cruise ship trophies proudly displayed in my garage. My wife and I won them in various contests on several cruises. We were bean bag toss champions, Sorry! champions and trivia champions. On our last few cruises it has been a goal to win one of these little trophies or medals from our newest cruise. Each one has the name of the ship we were on. It is more for the fun and memories than for recognition. It is always fun to win though!
In retirement, I took up metal detecting. I enjoy the hobby, but I also enjoy my club meetings where we have a find of the month competition. I enjoy my coin, toy, relic or jewelry item being voted on as the winner for that month. My reward is a silver dime, worth about $2. It's not about the worth as much as it is about being recognized by your peers as accomplishing something. That desire to be recognized by family, friends and others is still within me. It has evolved over the years and doesn't mean the same as it did when I was younger. But, I admit it is still there and probably is still within most of us.
The internet has created a whole new platform for people to seek recognition. So many use the social media apps to compete for likes and shares in various forms. The amount of followers that some have is their version of a medal or trophy. I'll admit, I enjoy seeing a decent amount of "likes" on any Facebook posts I make. Although I am limited to my 86 friends. It is hard to get 200K likes with only 86 friends. I'm lucky to get 10 likes.
When I retired I had numerous Certificates of Appreciation and other work awards. As I was packing my office, none of these meant anything in my retired life. It was nice at the time, but there was no need to keep most of these items. The same thing has happened with my car show trophies. Awards loose their luster as time goes by. The recognition is usually short lived and the feeling of pride you get goes away quickly. That is evident even with multiple Olympic gold medal winner Michael Phelps. He has 23 gold medals and still had a serious bout of depression after winning them all. The only awards I still value are the cruise ship awards and that is because they are associated with awesome fun memories. We have a family cruise scheduled for September. I need to brush up on my bean bag and putt putt golf skills so I can bring home the Gold!
Another form of reward is a simple compliment. Any time you receive a compliment it tends to brighten your day a little. It doesn't matter if it is a compliment on your hair, you shirt or your smile, it all makes us feel a little better. My wife is very good at dishing out compliments. She is always telling another woman she likes her hair, her purse, her blouse, etc. Sometimes a simple compliment becomes a short conversation and everyone benefits from the interaction. I need to get better at compliments. I can do it, I just have to make a conscious effort at it. We all often see something we like, but we fail to verbalize it to the person. That one compliment may mean the world to someone at that moment. So, get out there on your next outing and look for at least one person to lift up with a kind word!
What things do you still like getting rewarded for? Do you enjoy if for the recognition and the joy of putting it on your wall or bookshelf? Have you tossed old awards because they don't mean as much any more? Are there areas of you work life that you miss such as awards and bonuses? Are you generous with compliments and kind words? Do you enjoy being on the receiving end of those compliments?
Nowadays, a good job completed is reward in itself like the yard work I just completed. In my working days, I always felt "paid in full" when a client would remind me years later of a positive impact I'd made in their lives. That was more of a reward than any tchotchke from the organization. The trophies my son was awarded during his school sports days languished in boxes, forgotten and unwanted and finally ended up in the landfill however appreciated they were at the time.
ReplyDeleteI think all we need to keep are the memories and photos of watching our kids compete. The trophies are fun for the kids but loose their luster over time.
DeleteI was a pretty good bowler in my younger days and I collected a LOT of trophies. But at a certain point, they just sat in a box so I thought, why am I keeping these? They're long gone. I have participated in a few 5K races (I walk, not run) and you get medals for finishing. What am I supposed to do with those? I wish we'd stop giving out medals for everything.They lose their value. Everyone likes to win but I don't need a medal or trophy to prove it.
ReplyDeleteI did a few 5K's also years ago. I kept the paper numbers and the medals for awhile. But now they are long gone.
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